Fight or flight?

Sometimes I think I have “adapted” to life here, but I know that adapting takes several months. In addition to that, there are so many things that I will never get used to in Asia it seems, and I am okay with that. Adaptation means not carrying a map around with you everywhere. It means finding shortcuts, knowing the best restaurant on your street, or knowing when to feel comfortable and when to be cautious. Adaptation requires a specific expertise that will come with time. And adaptation leads to a minor or major change of personality. I won’t really notice the changes that Vietnam brings to me until I come back to Canada, but for now here’s what I can say.

Language is a huge deal when it comes to adaptation. Vietnam isn’t the first country I’ve lived in where I did not speak the national language, but back when I lived in Denmark, I actually took Danish for a month. The structure of Asian languages are completely different from the majority of Western languages, so I can’t even attempt to pick up on certain phrases or words – unlike Danish – because they don’t sound remotely anything like English. I speak broken English a lot in Vietnam and whenever I am around non-native English speakers in general. For example, I will say “We go to market” instead of “We are going to the market”. I actually like this broken English much better. It’s minimalistic. I use hand gestures and body language a lot too (Look mom, I’m a drama major now!). If I am in a situation where I can’t use body language (i.e. a cab ride), I will type words and numbers on my cell phone for the driver to see.

I’d like to think that there is a difference between a tourist and a (temporary) ex-pat. Some people will look at me on the street and automatically think “tourist” but perhaps with my Poise, Grace, Elegance and Street Smarts, I feel distinguished from those who are merely on vacation. It’s not a big deal what people think in the end, but sometimes tourists are just so obvious. And sometimes ex-pats are just so obvious. My roommate Aivy puts it succinctly, “This is Asia. People are different. You just never know…” :)

I think because I am only here for 3 months, there’s almost like a limitation on how much I can adapt. Three months is not a long time to really live in a country and know your city inside and out. At the same time, I personally think it’s enough for me because I think I’d go crazy here with the traffic, smog, general craziness, going to the exact. same. clubs every single weekend, and overall living in a somewhat risky city where you have to watch your back more than what you’re used to at home.

There are a lot of frustrating things that happen here in Vietnam. I just want to say that I have no fear in flipping perverted guys off and I have no shame in ignoring beggars and con artists. I am a fierce city girl – I am not interested in strangers-with-candy talking to me and I like it that way. In terms of pervy guys, they’re almost asking to be flipped off. If I ignore them, they start to laugh at me. Like, WHAT AM I???

At first I was deathly afraid of the traffic and I still am occasionally. I get road rage just walking down the street because god knows how many cement mixers and construction trucks are blocking my walking path. But now it’s like, I get physically angry that it has to be like this. In the beginning I was somewhat accepting of the traffic and now I am not afraid to yell profanities at idiot drivers who don’t understand things like “RIGHT OF WAY”, “RED LIGHT” and “LANE”. If you want your country to develop and prosper, you’re gonna have to learn one day, right? I have totally backlashed against many things in this city. At the same time, anger can sometimes be funny. When I think about being angry over such small things in life, it makes me go hohoho a little. It’s not a big deal…until I get run over by a vehicle. C’est la vie.

Then there’s adapting to work. Let me tell you how impossible and un-enjoyable it is for me to wake up before the ripe hour of 9:00am. I wake up at 7:30am and it kills me! I’m not sure how I am supposed to handle the real world. I don’t want weekends to be my only saving grace nor am I interested in beginning a love affair with coffee.

I’m very quiet and shy at work. I am willing to communicate cross-culturally, but if the other party is not willing, then WTF is the point? I barely speak at work. I am not understood most of the time. If I ask a question, like, “Where is the stapler?” I will receive a smile and a nod in return. There ain’t nothing special about work wardrobe either. We walk around barefoot or in flip flops in the office unless a client comes in. I think Vietnamese girls look very cute when they go to work, whereas I almost wear the same rotating items every day. I actually change into my clothes at work because the walk is so sweaty. Case in point, wardrobe versatility is definitely a privilege that I am not partaking in this summer.

There are certain mannerisms at work that are totally different for me, too. In Vietnam I have gathered that it’s not normal to say a friendly morning “Hello!” to your co-workers. But I say it anyways, because I would feel rude if I didn’t. I wear headphones at work occasionally. I feel pretty comfortable doing this, because my co-workers don’t talk to me anyways. Not to mention, every day there is some ear-piercing hammering and/or drilling noise in the building. Vietnam is in that stage of development where “noise pollution” is not a big deal…yet.

Sigh. You can only adapt so much, but at some point, you gotta either sit down or you gotta go to bed. Peace.